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A Date with a Stranger
by Vaughn Pascal
Well, I have decided to move forward once again. I have
had two relationships that I thought were it, believed I
got all the signs, thought I had found my soulmate. Just
to be slapped back into reality once again. I am so
tired of the whole dating game. I am now 31 yrs old. I
really miss having a family life. I have my son, but I
am yearning for so much more. I guess my whole outlook
on life was love. That was the most important thing to
me. I have since decided that maybe I am putting way to
much emphasis on finding the right one and not putting
enough effort into meeting new people as friends and
possibly potentials. I was just never a dating girl I
guess.
My friends say, ‘there is no reason for you to always
look at every situation and person as a love interest’.
Am I wrong for looking at it that way? I am definitely
not the “go out and have fun girl”. Meaning I am not a
one- night- stand type of person. I have only had one in
my lifetime and I am proud of that fact that it was only
one. I wouldn’t have had that if I would’ve known that
was what it was. It seems I have been smart enough or
just lucky enough to not have that in my life. No matter
what anyone says I don’t honestly believe that any self-
respecting lady has one- night- stands but hey that is
my opinion. I guess you can call me old -fashioned. I
want the fairy tale and I have thought, twice now, that
I had found it. The first time with my now ex husband
and the second time with my now definitely ex boyfriend.
I am so furious, not with men but I, myself, I guess. I
always put myself, or now put myself in a 100% out there
and involved in my relationships. Maybe because I am not
the dating type, maybe because I don’t want to be played
myself. Either way, I don’t play games and a lot of
people don’t, but then some do. I know I am young at 31,
but when you put love as a top priority it gets so old
when it isn’t reciprocated. I will explain me if I
haven’t done that enough already.
I am 31 yrs old. I am a single, mother of my son,
Dakota, whom is 7 yrs old. I am a student, majoring in
Criminal Justice. I am a stay at home mom other than
school. I do the best I can. I visit with friends often
and they visit me. My friends are my family, I love them
dearly. I have family and I am close with some, and very
close with others in my family. I am very independent,
meaning I don’t think I need a man, but I sure would
like to spend the rest of my life with one. If that is
in the cards. I do not play games. I detest them and
people who do play them. I don’t need to be with a man
24-7. I like having my free time, and I like doing
things with my son that involves us (me and Bub), until
I meet the right person that is how it will remain. I
don’t get my son involved in my relationships. My
friends and I spend a great deal of time talking and
hanging out together, on a daily basis pretty much.
I am not one to bug a man, maybe that is it. Maybe the
men I meet just need someone who is well, needy, and
that isn’t me. I don’t call everyday, I don’t want to
see you everyday if we just met, I want you to accept my
son first and foremost but when I feel it is right, You
can meet him when I am sure, I want a man to accept my
friends and my family. Is that really to much to ask?
Treat me with respect and consideration, actually want
to be involved and in a relationship with similar goals
in mind regarding that, as in a commitment. Is that what
we are working towards? I don’t want to be committed
right off the bat though. I don’t think I have asked for
a whole lot. I have went out of my comfort zone, giving
people the benefit of the doubt to quickly realize I was
right in thinking it was a mistake to begin with. My
fault, but it still stings. I just want to be happy. I
am happy, but I want to be able to be involved and be
happy. I want my best friend and soulmate. Is he out
there, is he looking?
I thought for sure with Jon it would be different but I
have no idea why he does what he does and I can see
finally, it isn’t going to change and it isn’t me, he
just doesn’t get it, the whole love thing, but it is on
him, and I am not resentful anymore. I want all my exes
to be happy, I truly do. I did meet someone and I have
known him for awhile. But you know what I am scared to
death because I honestly don’t know how to date without
looking at a person as a possible love interest, if you
know how please tell me. I mean it seems to go against
my nature.
The big thing is I don’t think it is going to be
anything but someone to talk to and have fun with
because he is only 21. OMG, what am I getting myself
into. what made me decide to go out with him, is this,
he would always stare at me, now I mean stare, as in
walk away turning around backwards to look, when he
would come over near me he would look me dead in the eye
and to be quite frank I haven’t had anyone do that for a
long time. He is beside himself when we talk for some
reason. He always touches his face and rubs his hands
through his hair, that nervous reaction you get, ya know
what I mean. He will stare me in the eyes when he is
talking or walking by, I get a little rush I have to
admit. The fact that I don’t think it will amount to
anything because he is so young kind -of makes it a
little more interesting.
My date with the “baby” as I will call him, not in a bad
way in a “precious name’ way. I have a habit of
nicknaming my exs. I have no idea why. I just do, some
aren’t that precious either, lol. I like this young
guy’s charisma, I like that he isn’t intimidated by me.
I can tell that by his, look me in the eye, demeanor yet
I feel a sense of over -whelming attraction, could be a
good thing or bad. All I know is I need a break from
being serious, now I am not meaning I am going to sleep
with him on our date but I am going to look, or at least
try to, look at him differently and I will let you know
how it goes. He made me promise to keep the date
regardless, and I agreed, so we will see what happens,
wish me luck and to you all going out on your first date
with someone new, good luck and God bless ya.
Vaughn Pascal
To Bub: I love you so much
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